Baby Rentals

Whenever Frank and I go to some event like an outdoor festival and we see a lot of families we say, “We should have rented some kids for this!”

Now I think we need to rent some “practice babies” to prepare for BS. When it comes to parenthood, we’re all book smarts, no street smarts. Just look at our impressive education:

Books:
Babywise
Baby Bargains
The Girlfriend’s Guide to Pregnancy
Belly Laughs
Safe Baby Handling Tips
40,001 Best Baby Names

Audio/Visual Aides:
Preparation for Parenthood (Six CDs we listened to on our road trip to and from Texas)
The Happiest Baby on the Block

DVR Recordings:
A Baby Story
Jon and Kate + 8
Supernanny

Classes (signed up for, haven’t taken yet):
Childbirth
Breastfeeding for couples
Baby CPR

Where we’re lacking is hands-on training. In fact, these are the only babies we’ve even spent time with since we found we were having one ourselves:

Baby Riley:

Baby Nathan:

Once I babysat two-and-a-half year old Reagan down the street and that went pretty well until Frank showed up. She started screaming so I said, “But Frank is going to be a daddy too!” She said, “That’s right. He’s just like daddy.” Still, will our kid scream at the sight of him? Or at the sight of me?

It’s a possibility if we don’t hone our skills. I mean, we know the steps to swaddling but have never tried it out. We know what color a baby's poop should be at two weeks but have never actually seen any evidence. We know that babies like to be bounced and moved but we haven’t held one long enough to test that theory.

So if you have a baby you’d like to loan us, let me know. It won’t be a true rental in the sense that we won’t pay you. Really, you should pay us. We’re providing babysitting and a wealth of knowledge. But don't worry, we won't take your baby to a festival. We haven't read the book about that yet.